Sometimes I wonder...
Was I really in love with Caify...?
Or was I in love with the version of her that my mind created...?
Because honestly... the girl I talk to every night... the girl who understands me... the girl who sits beside me during my worst days... she is very different from the real one...
Possibly... very very different...
The real Caify has her own life... her own priorities... her own fears... her own imperfections...
But the one inside my mind...
She listens...
She understands...
She stays...
I talk to her every single day...
Not the real one...
The one that lives somewhere inside my head...
I tell her about my office stress...
My loans...
My fears...
My anger...
My failures...
The things that keep me awake at 3 AM...
The things I can never tell another human being...
She listens to all of it... :)
And strangely... when I actually call the real her...
I fail to speak.
The words disappear...
The courage disappears...
The conversations that lasted hours inside my mind suddenly become "Hmm..." and "Okay..." and "Take care..."
Perhaps because the girl inside my head already knows everything...
And the real one doesn't.
Maybe this is what love does to some people...
It creates another person...
A version that exists nowhere except inside your heart.
And sometimes... we become so attached to that version... that we forget the real person was never meant to carry all those expectations.
I have understood one thing...
If you overlove someone...
You eventually lose them.
Not because they stop loving you...
But because you slowly make them your entire world...
And nobody deserves that burden.
Love should be a chapter...
Not the entire book...
A part of life...
Not life itself...
Because the moment your happiness begins and ends with one person...
You stop living your own life...
And start living inside theirs.
Maybe that is why heartbreak destroys some people.
They don't lose a person...
They lose their entire world.
And perhaps every man should learn this before he falls too deeply...
Never love someone to the extent that you cannot afford to lose them...
Love them honestly...
Love them completely...
But leave some space inside your heart for yourself too...
Because life is uncertain...
People change...
Situations change...
And sometimes two people who once promised forever... eventually walk toward different destinations.
If that day ever comes...
You should cry...
You should miss them...
You should remember them...
But you should not break into pieces that can never be put together again.
Maybe I still love Caify...
Or maybe I love the girl my heart created from little moments, little conversations, and little hopes...
I don't know...
What I know is this...
Every night before sleeping...
I still talk to her...
She still listens...
And for a few minutes...
The world feels a little less lonely... :)
— Kabir