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Me and Chitragupta

 चित्रगुप्त: तुम नर्क जा रहे हो… हमेशा के लिए।

मैं: अभी?

चित्रगुप्त: अभी नर्क का एक कर्मचारी आएगा और तुम्हें साथ ले जाएगा। तब तक तुम instruction manual पढ़ लो।

मैं: एक बंदी है… कैफी

चित्रगुप्त: हाँ?

मैं: जाने से पहले मैं उससे मिलना चाहूँगा।

चित्रगुप्त: कैफी… तुम्हारे context में?

मैं: हाँ

चित्रगुप्त: 99% चांस है कि वो स्वर्ग जा रही है।

मैं: क्या मुझे पाँच मिनट मिल सकता है?

चित्रगुप्त: पाँच मिनट के लिए… I don't mind। लेकिन वो अभी मरी नहीं है। अपने पति और बच्चों के साथ धरती लोक पर है। और लगभग 60 साल जिएगी वो।

मैं: अच्छा है।

चित्रगुप्त: क्या?

मैं: कितने बच्चे हैं उसके?

चित्रगुप्त: That is classified information.

मैं: ठीक है। मैं यहीं उसके आने का इंतज़ार करता हूँ।

चित्रगुप्त: अच्छा बहाना है… 60 साल नर्क से बचने का।

मैं: infinity minus 60 is still infinity

चित्रगुप्त: Fair enough।

मैं: पर तुम सच में 60 साल इंतज़ार करोगे… सिर्फ पाँच मिनट की conversation के लिए?

चित्रगुप्त: For an eternity… that will suffice।

मैं: फिर तो मेरी तरफ से ना है।

चित्रगुप्त: क्यों?

मैं: नर्क सज़ा की जगह है… और मैं तुम्हें वहाँ खुशी-खुशी नहीं जाने दे सकता।

चित्रगुप्त: ले जाओ इसे.. जब वो आएगी… उसे बताऊंगा कि तुमने उसके बारे में पूछा था..

चित्रगुप्त: जाफर! इसकी file लाना ज़रा। सुबह से आठ सरल बंदे नर्क भेजे मैंने। आखिर A1 माल तेल में क्यों डाला जा रहा है?


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